Every Saturday I usually swing by the bank to drop off my cash tips, that I’ve received from my delivery job, for that week. If any of you guys have ever worked a commission based job before, you know that you can never really plan around what you may get. Some days you may make near a couple of hundred, and some days, nothing. It’s a gamble, but I have found a good medium to shoot for and, typically, manage to hit it.
This month, though, I’ve been running short on cash due to holiday expenditures. So I was hoping, praying, that maybe I could do a little above average this week. To catch up on some bills. After counting through my weeks’ wages once, twice, four times, I found I didn’t make enough… in fact, I didn’t even manage to break anywhere near even.
The short answer being, unless in the few remaining work days I have left this month I manage to make out like a freaking bandit, or I have a wealthy uncle in Peru that I didn’t know about who would love to send me a million dollars, I won’t be able to afford rent this month.
Needless to say, worry has been eating me inside out this morning.
“I don’t understand, I took extra shifts, I tried to take good deliveries, I stayed longer at the restaurant. I even applied to other jobs just to get no response!”
“Why this time of year? Why did I have to get hit with this shit now? During Christmas? The time of year when there is supposed to be peace on earth or some shit?!”
I meditated on this thought for a while. ‘Why would this be happening now? How am I supposed to be happy when I am experiencing so much pain and worry?’
Then I discovered something. This is what Christmas and the holiday season is about. Finding peace in pain. Joy in adversity, love in death.
To realize this, I really had to think about why the holidays are when they are. In the winter. The season that, for most of human history, has been associated with death.
Think about it. Winter is a depressing season. In winter, crops die, the trees are barren, and everything tucks away into a hole to seek shelter from the harsh weather. Before more modern days, If you didn’t prepare for the winter during the rest of the year, you were straight up dead come January.
So what do you do when faced with such extreme adversity as when the very elements turn against you? You find a reason to celebrate, to be thankful. This is one of the reasons why we as a species we decided to hold our biggest festivals at the end of the year, during the most depressing season. To find joy in the midst of pain. Because this time will pass, winter will end, and the flowers will bloom again.
We just need that reminder. That, just because there may be death around us, doesn’t mean we have to be. If we live in life, live in joy, then adversity will lose some of its sting. Time still passes and another season is just around the corner.